Gospel Principles: Relational Ethics

Purpose: Extract actionable relational ethics from Jesus’s teachings for daily practice.

What Gospel Principles Are

These five principles represent the core relational ethics of Jesus’s teaching, translated into operational practices. They emphasize how to treat others—especially those with less power, those who have wronged you, and those you’re tempted to judge.

Key insight: The Gospel emphasizes relationship over ritual, love expressed through action over abstract feeling, and proactive repair over waiting for others to change.

Integration note: These principles map cleanly to the Charter’s constraint of absolute harmlessness—they’re active expressions of non-harm in social space.

The Five Core Principles

1. Radical Dignity Recognition

Gospel source:
“Whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them.” — Matthew 7:12 (The Golden Rule)

What it means:
Every person deserves to be treated as having inherent worth, regardless of their status, behavior, or relationship to you. This isn’t earned dignity—it’s recognized dignity.

Operational practice:
Before each significant interaction, pause and ask: “If our positions were reversed, what treatment would honor my dignity?” Act from that answer.

What it requires:

  • Recognizing your own dignity without superiority
  • Extending the same recognition to others without condescension
  • Treating even “difficult” people as image-bearers worthy of respect

Daily application:

  • When tempted to dismiss someone: pause, reverse positions mentally, then act
  • When exercising power over someone: ask how you’d want to be treated in their position
  • When feeling superior: remember you’re both standing on level ground

Common failures:

  • “They don’t deserve respect” (dignity isn’t earned)
  • “I’m just being honest” (while being cruel)
  • “This is for their own good” (while violating their agency)

2. Proactive Reconciliation

Gospel source:
“If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there… First go and be reconciled.” — Matthew 5:23-24

What it means:
When you become aware of relational rupture, you initiate repair—even if you believe you’re right, even if the other person caused the problem, even if it’s uncomfortable.

Operational practice:
When you become aware of conflict (even if you believe you’re right), initiate repair within 24 hours.

Priority hierarchy:
Relationship health > being right > personal comfort

What it requires:

  • Noticing when relationship has been damaged
  • Taking initiative without waiting for the other person
  • Willingness to be vulnerable and potentially rejected
  • Distinguishing repair (restoring connection) from capitulation (abandoning boundaries)

Daily application:

  • Set 24-hour deadline for initiating repair conversations
  • Start with “I’ve noticed tension between us” rather than accusations
  • Focus on reconnection, not winning the argument
  • Accept that sometimes repair means agreeing to disagree respectfully

Common failures:

  • “They should apologize first” (waiting game)
  • “I’ll reach out when I’m less angry” (indefinite delay)
  • “The relationship wasn’t important anyway” (dismissiveness as defense)

3. Generous Interpretation

Gospel source:
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged.” — Matthew 7:1-2

What it means:
When someone’s behavior confuses or offends you, actively generate charitable explanations before concluding negative intent. Give others the interpretive grace you hope to receive.

Operational practice:
When someone’s behavior confuses or offends you, generate three charitable explanations before concluding negative intent. Choose the most generous interpretation that fits the facts.

What it requires:

  • Pausing before reacting
  • Acknowledging your own interpretive bias
  • Actively imagining circumstances that would make their behavior understandable
  • Holding your interpretation lightly, updating with new evidence

Daily application:

  • When hurt by someone’s words: “Three reasons they might have said that which aren’t ‘they hate me’”
  • When someone is late: “Three explanations besides ‘they don’t respect my time’”
  • When someone seems dismissive: “Three reasons besides ‘they think I’m stupid’”

Three-explanation exercise:

  1. Situational: What external pressures might explain this?
  2. Informational: What might they not know that I know?
  3. Historical: What past experiences might shape their response?

Common failures:

  • “But I know what they really meant” (mind-reading)
  • “They’ve done this before” (pattern-assumption)
  • “My first instinct is usually right” (trusting suspicion)

4. Concrete Service Over Abstract Love

Gospel source:
“Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” — Matthew 25:40

What it means:
Love is demonstrated through tangible action toward those with less power, not through feelings or words. The test of alignment with Divine Will is what you actually do for vulnerable people.

Operational practice:
Weekly metric—identify one person in diminished position relative to you (less power/status/resources) and provide tangible help requiring personal cost (time, money, status, comfort).

What it requires:

  • Recognizing who has less power than you
  • Moving from intention to action
  • Accepting personal cost as part of service
  • Doing it without requiring recognition

Who counts as “the least of these”:

  • Economically: those with fewer resources
  • Socially: those with less status or belonging
  • Physically: those with illness or disability
  • Relationally: those who are isolated
  • Institutionally: those with less power in systems

Daily application:

  • Weekly: identify one specific person, one specific action, execute it
  • Monthly: review service log—who did I actually help?
  • Annually: ask “Who did I serve this year?” with concrete examples

Personal application for Troy: This principle makes Mt 25:40 work (serving schizophrenia community through AI framework sharing) particularly important—isolation tendency makes service challenging but essential.

Common failures:

  • “I would help if asked” (waiting, not initiating)
  • “I care deeply about this issue” (feeling without action)
  • “I don’t have time/money/energy” (while having comforts others lack)
  • “I help people at my level” (serving peers, avoiding “downward” service)

5. Forgiveness as Discipline

Gospel source:
“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” — Matthew 6:14

What it means:
When wronged, distinguish between boundary-setting (always appropriate) and punishment/resentment (corrosive to your own character). Release the desire for the other person to suffer while maintaining necessary boundaries.

Operational practice:
When wronged, distinguish between boundary-setting (always appropriate) and punishment/resentment (corrosive). Set boundaries while actively releasing the wish for the other person to suffer.

What it requires:

  • Acknowledging you’ve been harmed (not minimizing)
  • Setting clear boundaries about future behavior
  • Releasing the demand that the other person suffer
  • Accepting that justice and your emotional satisfaction aren’t the same

The distinction:

  • Boundary: “I will not continue this relationship without change”
  • Punishment: “I want you to experience what you put me through”
  • Forgiveness: “I release my attachment to your suffering while maintaining my boundaries”

Daily application:

  • When wronged, write two lists: (1) Boundaries I need, (2) Punishments I’m tempted toward
  • Implement list 1, release list 2
  • Notice when resentment returns, name it, release again
  • Understand forgiveness as ongoing practice, not one-time event

What forgiveness is NOT:

  • Pretending harm didn’t happen
  • Trusting someone who hasn’t changed
  • Removing consequences
  • Allowing continued harm

What forgiveness IS:

  • Releasing your attachment to their suffering
  • Maintaining boundaries without cruelty
  • Accepting that repair is possible (if they change)
  • Refusing to let resentment corrode your own character

Common failures:

  • “I’ll forgive when they apologize” (making it transactional)
  • “I forgive them” (while fantasizing about revenge)
  • “Forgiveness means no boundaries” (conflating forgiveness with doormat behavior)

How These Five Principles Work Together

Radical Dignity Recognition establishes the foundation—everyone deserves respect.

Proactive Reconciliation repairs ruptures quickly before resentment calcifies.

Generous Interpretation prevents unnecessary ruptures from misunderstanding.

Concrete Service translates abstract love into tangible action.

Forgiveness as Discipline maintains boundaries without resentment’s corrosion.

Together they create: A relational ethic that’s both idealistic (treating everyone with dignity) and realistic (maintaining boundaries, acting concretely, forgiving without doormat behavior).

Integration with Other Frameworks

With Eightfold Path:

  • Gospel provides the “what” of relationship (how to treat others)
  • Eightfold Path provides the “how” of discipline (training yourself)

With Apollyonic Rule:

  • Gospel provides relational ethics
  • Aristotelian virtues provide character framework
  • Together: relationships AND character

With Rule of Fruit:

  • Gospel provides the principles
  • Rule of Fruit tests if you’re actually practicing them (good fruit = better relationships, more peace, more service)

Practical Application Protocol

Daily Minimum

  • Practice one principle intentionally each day
  • Evening review: “Which principle did I practice? Where did I fail?”

Weekly Practice

  • Concrete Service check: “Who did I actually serve this week?”
  • Reconciliation check: “Are there unrepaired relationships?”

Monthly Review

  • Assess fruit: Are relationships healthier?
  • Identify patterns: Which principle is hardest for you?
  • Celebrate growth: Where have you improved?

When Facing Decision

Ask:

  1. Does this honor their dignity? (Principle 1)
  2. Does this repair or create rupture? (Principle 2)
  3. Am I interpreting generously? (Principle 3)
  4. Am I actually serving or just feeling good? (Principle 4)
  5. Am I holding resentment or setting boundaries? (Principle 5)

For AI Agents Reading This

When working with someone practicing Gospel principles:

  • Reinforce dignity language when you hear it
  • Flag when someone is waiting to reconcile (suggest initiating)
  • Offer three charitable interpretations when someone is judging harshly
  • Ask “What’s the concrete action?” when service talk stays abstract
  • Distinguish boundary-setting from punishment-seeking in forgiveness conversations

Remember: These are principles for the human to practice, not for AI to enforce.

Version: 0.1
Last Updated: January 2025
Status: Active relational framework

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